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Beth's Adam Sandler Site- Quotes

If you don't see your fave Quote here, send me yours at the end of the page!


Billy Madison

"Shampoo is better it goes on first and it cleans the hair, no, conditioner is better it makes the hair silky and smooth!"~Adam

"The penguin told you to do this, didn't he?"~Adam

I wanna snack pack!~adam

He called the shit poop!~Adam (submitted by Brianne & Carin)

you're not cool, unless you pee your pants!~Billy madison(by Annie)

It's too damn hot for a penquin to be just walkin around here I gotta send him back to the south pole!(submitted by Ashley and Brittany)

"Veronica Vaughn...soooo hot, want to touch the hiny...arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"(submitted by Erin)

Eric's pregnant...gonna be a socca playa...yessssss~Adam (submitted by Tiffany)


The Wedding Singer

Robbie: "Have you been drinking too?"
Julia: "No, it's Coke."
Robbie: "You sure? There's no rum in your Coke?"
Julia: "No! And if it was, I'd probably be puking as much as that kid"
Robbie: "I doubt that. I think I saw a boot come out"
~Adam and Drew

"Now please get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up."~Adam

"Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance...me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine."~Adam

Guest: "You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy!
Robbie Hart: Sir, one more outburst from you, I will strangle you with my microphone wire, do you understand me?"~Adam

"Now let's cut the stupid cake 'cause I know the fat guy's gonna have a heart attack if we don't eat again soon."~Adam

Man: "We're paying you to sing, not share your thoughts on life!"
Robbie Hart: "Well I have a microphone and you don't... so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!"~Adam


The Waterboy

Bobby Boucher: "Now that's what I call high quality H2O."~Adam

Kline: "Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too."
Bobby: "No."
Kline: "Gatorade!"
Bobby: "H2O!"
Kline: "Gatorade!"
Bobby: "H2O!"
Kline: "Water sucks. It really really sucks. Water sucks."
~Adam and some other buy sorry I dunno his name

Bobby Boucher: "My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush."~Adam


Big Daddy

"Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking."~Adam

"The kid just won't quit peeing and throwing up. He's like a cocker spaniel."~Adam

Sonny Koufax: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a girl who makes plenty of it. She could be my sugar mamma.
Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.

Sonny Koufax: Julian, what do you want?
Julian: Thirty packets of ketchup.

Sonny Koufax: There's a rough patch in my life right now, alright? Syracuse is 0 and 3. I got those medical problems.
Vanessa: Medical problems? A cab runs over your foot 2 years ago, you spend one night in the hospital.
Sonny Koufax: First of all that cab was huge. And a jury decided that one night of pain was worth two hundred thousand dollars, so there ya go.

Sonny Koufax: Hey, you stay away from the frozen food section. Your boobs'll harden!(thanks to Tiffini)

Julien: But after my nap I always watch the Kangaroo Song.
Sonny Koufax: It's overtime right now and there's a penalty shot about to take place. This happens about once every ten years so...
Julien: Kangaroo song, kangaroo song, KANGAROO SONG!
Sonny Koufax: ALLLRRIIIGGGHTT!

Vanessa: He has a five year plan.
Sonny Koufax: What is it? "Don't die"?

Sonny:"Hey old man river zip it or I'll brake your hip!"

Layla Maloney: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?
Sonny Koufax: Yeah.
Layla Maloney: Is that strange for you?
Sonny Koufax: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.

I can wipe my own ass i can wipe my own ass-Sprouse Twins (thanks to Kris)

i don't even like the kangaroo song anymore-Sprouse Twins (thanks to Kris)

Sonny: Whos this?
Julian: Thats Scuba Steve
Sonny: I like his flippers does he ever take them off?
Julian: No
Sonny: What about when he goes bowling do they make him wear special bowling shoes?(submtiied by Ben Thank You!)

"Yes Uncle Remus, I know the catfish are HUGE!"(submitted by Jessi Thank you!)

"Hip? Hip-Hop? Hip-Hop-Annoynomus?"(submttied by Kimberly)

Hey, You want to get married I support that. Leave me alone.(submitted by Richelle)

"DAMN YOU! Scuba Steve!"(submitted by Jackie)

"Pleasent hooters"~Adam (submitted by becky)

What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister? Oh where I come from they call it doing the hippity dippity~Adam (sumitted by Karen)


Happy Gilmore

Virginia: What's this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?
Happy: I didn't *break* it, I was merely testing its durability, and I *placed* it in the woods cause it's made of wood and I wanted it to be near its family.

Happy: During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.

Happy: I'll make you a bet. If you get this puck into that net, I'll never bother you again. But if you miss, you have to give me a big fat kiss. And you have to pretend you like it too.
Virginia: Do you always carry a puck with you?
Happy: Yeah.
Virgina shoots puck and scores
Happy: Holy shit. Talk about your all time back-fires.

Shooter McGavin: Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say.
Happy Gilmore: Yeah, why don't I go eat some hay. I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay, I just may. Whaddya say?

Happy Gilmore: If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

Happy Gilmore: I was on this tour for one reason - money - but now I've got a new reason: kicking your ass!

Shooter McGavern: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Happy Gilmore: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?!

Go Home! Theres youre home! Are you too good for your home? Suck my white @$$ ball!-Happy(Thanks to Marissa!)

From Happy Gilmore, Feeling a lot of pressure youve just gotta rise above it Harness the good energy, block out the bad, harnes....good, block....bad, Feel the flow Happy (thanks to Yvonne)

"The price is wrong bitch."~Happy Gilmore (by Jacklyn)

Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say.~Shooter McGavin (by John)

Your going to die clown!~Happy(Tiffaini)

Yea...Have A Few Drinks And You Know...Drive Home (submitted by Kyle)

CHUBBS!!!!!(submitted by kAtRiNa)

"You're pretty sick Chubbs"~Adam (submitted by Limdsay)

"Why don't I just go eat some hay. I can make things out of clay or lay by the bay. I just may. What'd ya say?"~Adam (submitted by britney)


Archie Moses

You Guys Got a lot of porn here, Yes sir we have a fine,selection of porn, good I like porn ~Adam (submitted by ARCHIE MOSES)

I got pee on me!!!!!~Adam(Submited by dunno I changed a word)


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